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Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Getting attached...

Brian and Rachael are in Florida this week on a family vacation with Brian's brother and sister-in-law and their two kids and his parents and uncle and... I think that's it. I haven't been reading to Rachael since they've been there since they're either getting home really late or she's playing with her cousins or I'm out shopping, which is what I was doing last night.

Brian asked me if I wanted to read to Rachael last night, and of course I did, but I wasn't at home. He said he'd keep her up for me if I wanted him to. While I would have LOVED that more than anything, Rachael was going to have a big day of Disney today and needed her sleep.

A little earlier that evening, I was Skyping with Brian, and Rachael came into the room, so I started talking with her. She started showing me her shoes. She is a girl after my own heart! I love talking to Rachael and listening to her chat about the things that are important to her or hearing her ask me questions. I like seeing that little glimpse inside her brain.

Last night, while I was at Target, Brian said that Rachael was wanting to Skype with me and that she was sending me smilies on Skype. I told him that she could call my phone, so they called me and I got to talk to my sweet girl before she went to bed. She asked me what I was shopping for... further evidence that she is my kind of girl! We talked about her playing in the pool and going to Disney tomorrow.

I told her goodnight and wished her sweet dreams and then told her that I love her, like I do pretty much every night. She doesn't always say it back, but that's ok. I don't expect her to. I love her and she should know that. But tonight, when I said "I love you" she said "I love you too." It's so special to be loved by that little girl and to get to be part of her life.

Brian said that he's attached to me and that she's becoming that way. He said that when she sees the tablet, she asks if they can call me or if I'm on there or if he's talking to me. I love that she asks for me and thinks about me and that I am becoming part of her life and not just her being part of mine. I can't wait to meet her and finally get to kiss her myself instead of having Brian do it for me. :)

Tonight, Brian called me while they were still at Disney. Rachael wanted to talk to me, I guess, because he put her on the phone and she just started chatting away and telling me all about her day... and the "one that wears the blue shirt" (Donald Duck). She always wants to know where I am. I look forward to the day when she doesn't have to ask that question, because I'm right there with her.

I can't wait to make memories together.

I really love that little redhead. She is so sweet and affectionate. She is such a precious and special little girl. I can't wait to be able to introduce her to my parents and my grandparents and my brother and Amanda and Allison, Brooke, and Beth-Anne. I can't wait to have her come visit in Tennessee and to take her to ride the carousel in Coolidge Park and to play in the interactive fountains. I want to take her to the Tennessee Aquarium and see her oooh and ahhh over everything. I can't wait to snuggle her close and read her favorite books to her. I can't wait to play with her and braid her hair and paint her nails. I can't wait to take her to the Imagination Station and see her playing on the same playground that I loved as a child. I can't wait to be with Rachael and spend time doing things just for her. I can't wait to see her face light up over things that delight her and I can't wait to stare at her peacefully sleeping self without the vastness of cyberspace between us. Loving a child is one thing... I've done that plenty of times in my life. But being able to love Rachael and factor her into the decisions that Brian and I make and to really have her be IN my life and to affect how I live it... that's incredible. I pray every day that God will give me love for her as if she's my own and to help me to think of her needs before my own and to make decisions with Brian for our relationship that are also best for her.